You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize