I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
