I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
