pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
