I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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