I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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