We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
