I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize