I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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