if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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