i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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