Where did you get a picture of my penis
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize