I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
