i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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