i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
