Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
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You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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