Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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