I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
