THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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