She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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