i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize