I bet he comes in French.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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