She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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