All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
BRING THE BAGELS
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
