well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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