I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
