I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
