Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
