My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
