Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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