ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
