okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize