Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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