Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
