Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
