btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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