My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
