She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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