im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
