I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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