Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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