when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
