But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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