brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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