Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize