Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
