Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
