Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
only if we run a train.
done.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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