I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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