does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
