Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
