I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
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I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
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It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize