Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize