i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
