I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
