i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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