I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Bring me that man meat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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