Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
